I'm not a shoulder to cry on, but I digress..

So..as usual I'm doing things ass backwards. I've not found a job yet, but I have a list of apartments. Why not be prepared? So I'll get hired somewhere, and then I'll move out in a month. Or I'll just roll over and die of disapointment. Either way, one or the other. I've found some really nice one bedroom floorplans from simple apartments to lofts...very nice from price range of $350-$500. That's my limit with one bedrooms. I've found two bedrooms, just in case my sister would like to move in with me from 500-700. Some of those include more of what I'd like such as washer and dryer connection or W/D included, two full baths, or one full and a half. I'm not finding good deals on utilites in this area, but that's okay...anything cheaper and I'll be living in the slums, which I'd rather not. Why am I so afraid of living alone? I ask myself that nearly everyday and I have no idea. I can't do it...I don't trust the world enough to live on my own. I think financially, after I get a job, I could handle it, I just don't think I'm smart enough to live on my own. And then I have then I'm completely afraid of the dark...I can handle it if I'm not by myself. It's not the "monsters or boogey men under the bed" type fear, it's just unrational and I truly have no idea where it comes from. Anyway, I've applied, and there's no way for me to contact these people for further details, so I guess I'll just continue to wait, check my professional email, check phone messages, cross my fingers and continue to apply elsewhere. I really have no choice. Grr...but you know, if everything fails, I still have a nice selection of apartments to keep my hopes up.